


If I Could Have Saved Her

by Keylime_Pi



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Hurt, Mental Health Issues, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:47:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28071183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keylime_Pi/pseuds/Keylime_Pi
Summary: Azula sobbed. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” It’s the only time Ty Lee has ever heard her say it. She was tempted to run, but this girl needed her. She needed a friend, needed somebody. Somebody who she didn’t have to impress, prove she was better than. Ty Lee wrapped her arms around Azula.“It’s gonna be okay,” she said. No. Shepromised.She broke that promise, didn't she?---If you want some angst, this is for you
Relationships: Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Suki & Ty Lee (Avatar)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	If I Could Have Saved Her

Listless firelight casts long shadows over the waiting room. Hands in lap, bottom lip scrutinized by teeth, heel tapping against the cold stone ground. Ty Lee has no idea how long they’ve been waiting there, in this hopeless room. Hours? Days? Maybe it’s only been five minutes. It doesn’t really matter. Time means nothing in here until it runs out.

The specialist comes out finally. Ty Lee stands automatically. Zuko rises to his feet a little less strictly, seeming hesitant. Mai just sits there. Her eyes haven’t left the floor this whole time.

The specialist puts a sympathetic hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, your majesty…she’s getting worse.”

Zuko chokes back a sudden sob. “What? I thought it was working, I thought she was - ”

“I know, you majesty. I’m truly sorry. Your sister…she was farther gone than we had realized.” 

The young Fire Lord shuts his eyes, tears leaking from their corners. “So…”

“How much hope is there?” Ty Lee blurts.

The specialist’s eyes snap over to her. Ty Lee wants to throw up at the softness in them. That’s not the softness of hope, of encouragement. She wants that hope to die, even if gently. “Little,” she admits.

Ty Lee squeezes her hand into an uncharacteristic fist behind her back. “Well…is there any?”

“I can’t say that she won’t eventually come back around. But I wouldn’t count on it.”

They’re left with that. Even after the specialist has long left, the three sit there. Breathe in, breathe out…this will be okay. Breathe in, breathe out…she’ll come back…won’t she?

Ty Lee glances at her friends. It breaks her heart. Zuko…he’s always been the brooding type, but this is pure pain. He looks like he’s about to break at any moment. Mai is subtler, but that’s even more frightening. She looks fine, the only tell her shaking body, vibrating almost like it’s against her will.

“She tried to kill us,” Zuko finally spits out. “And…and we shouldn’t feel sad…right?”

“She was our friend,” Mai mumbles.

“IS our friend.”

Ty Lee doesn’t even realize how harsh she sounds saying that until Mai glances up at her in surprise and slight fear. “Right,” the girl agrees after a second. “Is our friend.”

Zuko’s hand finds Mai’s. She leans against his shoulder and intertwines their fingers. Ty Lee’s heart clenches.

When she arrives home to the dojo, it’s almost sunrise. She’ll have a good hour of time to herself before the girls come down, maybe only thirty minutes if Suki decides to get a head start on the day.

Ty Lee sits on the floor. She unravels her braid, grown ragged in the asylum’s waiting room. With numb fingers she redoes her hair. Side, inside….breathe in, breathe out…side, inside….breathe in, breathe out…it’ll be okay.

As a little girl, her parents introduced her to Azula. Azula was mean. Ty Lee didn’t like her. Neither did Ty Lee’s sisters.

She picks out her uniform from her closet. She slips it on in habit, just like everything.

When they were about to leave, Ty Lee heard someone crying. She walked into a room, and saw Azula. Brave, snarky, above the rest Princess Azula…crying. Ty Lee sat down on the bed’s edge. Azula screamed at her to go, but Ty Lee stayed. Through the tears, there shone some humanity, somewhere. Azula crashed into Ty Lee, as though about to fight her. But she hugged her. Small, strong arms tight around her middle with her head buried in the crook of her neck.

Ty Lee puts in her hair piece. The green really does bring out her eyes. Usually that makes her smile.

Azula sobbed. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” It’s the only time Ty Lee has ever heard her say it. She was tempted to run, but this girl needed her. She needed a friend, needed somebody. Somebody who she didn’t have to impress, prove she was better than. Ty Lee wrapped her arms around Azula.

“It’s gonna be okay,” she said. No. She _promised _.__

____

The makeup’s on the table. Ty Lee puts it on unceremoniously. Even so, her brush strokes are perfected after long practice.

____

She broke that promise, didn’t she?

____

Her hand falters. Her lipstick smudges. Ty Lee sighs and wipes it away, patching it up. It doesn’t really matter, after all - it’s just for her daily morning practice. Usually she doesn’t even bother putting on her uniform. But today she needs it. Needs a distraction.

____

For years, Azula would harass Ty Lee, and everyone around her. But there were moments…quiet moments at sleepovers after Mai had fallen asleep, where Azula would wake up crying and ask Ty Lee to sleep next to her. Well, more like told her. But Ty Lee didn’t mind, she liked being beside her. She isn’t sure when, but at some point, it became like a need to sleep beside Azula. Ty Lee would just climb into the bed, and Azula wouldn’t push her away. In fact, she’d welcome her with open arms, smiling softly. It was so rare to see such a soft smile on the princess. But it was the most beautiful smile in the world.

____

Ty Lee snatches her fans. They fly into formation as if on their own accord. She stands ready. She can picture her opponent, ready to strike her down. She’ll strike her first.

____

Then Zuko was banished. Mai became closed off. She wasn’t affected by Azula’s anger. So Azula grew angrier. She wanted attention. Ty Lee became scared. She ran away. Away from her parents, away from Azula. The circus was lovely, fun, what she wanted. For the most part.

____

There were nights were Ty Lee would imagine Azula was in the crowd. There were nights where Ty Lee would imagine Azula was waiting in her bed. She’d fall asleep beside a figment, and wake up in tears remembering that she wasn’t there.

____

Ty Lee strikes. The opponent falls back, at least hypothetically.

____

When Azula showed up at the circus, Ty Lee was scared as well as overjoyed. She knows Azula caused the chaos at it, of course. It’s Azula’s way. It pained Ty Lee to no end, but if Azula needed her, she was going to be there. It was going to be okay, just like she promised. She’d make it okay. No matter what it took.

____

She strikes again, with more force, going through precise learned movements. Movements she learned in prison. She falters and falls forward, hitting her chin on the ground and cursing loudly.

____

Betraying Azula was the moment when Ty Lee knew she made a mistake. Not betraying Azula itself - no, that was only right. To this day, she believes she saved Mai’s life, and she will NEVER regret that. It’s something in the past. Somewhere, she took a misstep. Maybe if she had tried harder, if she hadn’t ran away…then she could have saved Azula from herself. She could’ve kept her promise.

____

Hot tears gather in Ty Lee’s eyes. She forces them back and stands up. She looks over to the entrance of the dojo and lets her mind wander. What if…

____

Azula is standing at the door. She moves towards Ty Lee. “Excellent dancing.” But it isn’t mean. It’s cute. It’s a joke that Ty Lee started, and Azula reminds her of it almost every day.

____

Ty Lee’s arms wind around Azula’s waist. “Thank you, your highness.”

____

Azula shakes her head. “Stop calling me that!” She laughs again. Her hand - softer, less calloused from draining weeks of fire bending practice - touches Ty Lee’s cheek. She smiles, that soft one. The most beautiful one.

____

“Why are you here?” Ty Lee asks.

____

“I wanted to see you,” Azula says. Her honey eyes shine with love. “Do I need an excuse?”

____

Ty Lee shakes her head. Their gazes stay locked. Azula combs back that tuft of hair Ty Lee can never get in place.

____

“I love you, you know,” Azula whispers.

____

Ty Lee’s heart jumps into her throat. But she’s heard it before. “I love you, too.”

____

They kiss. Azula _kisses her _. Ty Lee kisses her back. It’s sweet. It’s okay. Everything is okay.__

______ _ _

Ty Lee opens her eyes. The tears have fallen, ruining her makeup. Azula’s not at the door, nor in her embrace. She’s back at the asylum. Ty Lee feels a sob like Zuko’s building up in her chest. She doesn’t stop it, and it crashes against her like Azula begging for a hug. Ty Lee screams, wrapping her arms around an invisible girl. She falls to her knees. It doesn’t matter if anyone wakes up, if anyone hears her, because who cares? It’s not okay, nothing’s ever going to be okay, she broke her promise.

______ _ _

After what feels like forever, Ty Lee stops crying. She lies on the ground, staring at the ceiling until she can’t see a thing. When she hears who she assumes is Suki coming down the stairs, she gets up and takes her morning shower. The water’s cold.

______ _ _

Ty Lee walks to her room. She sees the paper on her dresser and knows what she has to do. She’s never said it. Even Azula said it, once.

______ _ _

Ty Lee sits down with pen and paper. She knows what to write. It’s simple enough. 

______ _ _

Betraying Azula, protecting Mai, choosing the Avatar’s side…that was important. That was right. But it shouldn’t have ever come to that. She should have done more while she had the chance.

______ _ _

Ty Lee doesn’t know if Azula will even understand. She doesn’t know if she still reads. Even if she does, Ty Lee doesn’t know if it will help. But there’s a chance. And even if she doesn’t understand, Ty Lee needs to tell her.

______ _ _

Ty Lee heads to Suki, placing the scroll in her hands. Before she can ask any questions, Ty Lee says, “Ask Sokka to send this to Azula’s asylum on Hawkie. Please.”

______ _ _

Suki purses her lips. She’s judging her, Ty Lee knows she is, but like the woman she is - like the _friend _she is - Suki just nods. “Of course.”__

____

______ _ _

____

Suki doesn’t read the note, doesn’t even consider it. She doesn’t see the two words written on tear-stained paper. Two, tiny words:

____

______ _ _

____

**I’m sorry **.****

____

______ _ _

____


End file.
